Baba's Mischief

This was our last day and night in Croatia and though the day started out with a peculiar experience, it could not have finished any better.  As we set out from Slovenia we had to solely rely on paper maps as our GPS wasn’t operational until we reached the Croatian border.  I do have to say that once you’re on the freeway everything is well-marked and fairly easy to follow.  However off the freeway there are unpronounceable streets with roundabouts veering this way and that, and pretty much all you can do is hope to quickly glimpse something familiar that will lead you in the right direction.  Lets just say that there were a few “Turn NOW!!!” “No, the other way!!!” “I think this is the way???” moments getting to and from the freeway with me navigating and Joe making hairpin turns to get us to our destination.  But we arrived safe and sound across the border of Croatia and made our way to the airport to drop off the rental car.  First stop however was at a gas station to fill up the tank and use the “facilities.”  Now if you recall, we exchanged our Kuna several days ago to Euros…..Joe comes back to the car and tells me that apparently we wouldn’t be able to use the “facilities” unless we had Kuna.  I’m puzzled….excuse me hon – are you saying that we have to pay to use the bathroom?  Yep, that’s right…..and we have no Kuna.  I’m truly glad this wasn’t an emergency!  Off to the airport we go, hoping that I’m not dancing by the time we get there.  Hertz was fabulous and after a quick inspection and paperwork they even had one of their attendants drive us the 15 miles from the airport to our hotel because “the taxi will charge you too much!”  We arrived at the Hotel Esplanade which was positively gorgeous! 

Our initial plan for the day was to arrive early, explore the capital of Croatia – Zagreb and meet with my cousins from Grandpa Pavkovich’s side of the family for early cocktails.  However we left Bled, Slovenia later than expected and arrived mid afternoon, which meant a quick trip to Zagreb’s old town and then connecting with my cousins.  To be honest, I was nervous…..I had been in contact with my cousin Jelena through Facebook but hadn’t seen her since her visit to the US in the early 90’s when she was 16 if I recall correctly.  My cousin Vanja had been to the US several times, but my recollection of her was vague from early childhood.  And believe it or not, I can be somewhat shy and overwhelmed.  Jelena had suggested that we meet in the center of the city at the Floral Square. 

Joe and I dashed up to old town for a quick trip to St. Mark’s Square where the Church of St. Mark is located.  The tile roof depicts two coats of arms.  One has a red/white checkerboard symbol for northern & central Croatia, 3 lions heads representing the Dalmatian Coast, rivers Sava & Drava representing Slavonia and the other is the Zagreb seal represented by a walled city.  The church was closed so we couldn’t go in, but at least we had the opportunity for a quick visit outside and glimpses of the old town. Checking our watches we rushed down to the Floral Square to meet family.

Wandering in the city Center we were pretty sure we located the Floral Square because of the beautiful flower stands located throughout, however I checked with a local young lady working at a stand and she confirmed that yes we were.  Literally standing in the center of the square I contacted Jelena via Messenger – “We’re at the flower square”….Next thing I know there she is, beautiful as ever.  Hugs, my eyes stinging, overwhelmed in the best of ways…..why was I ever nervous!  We walked over to an outside cafe and there was Vanja who I immediately recognized.  Natasa and her husband Damir who joined us shortly after.  Ivan and his wife and beautiful daughter.  And Jelena’s 3 girls – Charlotte, Maya Lea and Laura.  Hugs all around and it felt like home…..There is something about family and that connection that spans years and miles, but never breaks.  I wonder is this connection universal, a Croatian thing or is our family just blessed. 

Friends and family have asked if I would change anything about our trip, and I always comment that it was perfect.   But I do so wish that we had more time to visit with family.  We thoroughly enjoyed spending time and connecting but the time flew by so quickly.  With invitations to return and stay with family,  hugs and definitely tears on my part we parted company and returned to our hotel and began organizing our belongings as we prepared for our flight to Paris in the morning.

After a leisurely morning touring Rovinj, Croatia we headed off to Lake Bled, Slovenia.  Slovenia used to be part of Yugoslavia so I was hoping that the spattering of Croatian language I knew would be helpful in navigating the area, sights and restaurants. As we drove north from Croatia and crossed the border into Slovenia the landscape began to change from lush green rolling terrain to beautiful views of the Julian Alps in the distance.  We stopped at a roadside currency exchange and swapped our Croatian Kuna’s  to the Euro and purchased the required vinjeta (toll-sticker) for our rental car.  The architecture had a definite Austrian look as we headed further into the country with roadside chalets and quaint towns.

Unfortunately as we neared Lake Bled the clouds decided to roll in.  Parking was again an adventure and we fortunately found a spot by our hotel that the concierge was holding for us.  The Grand Hotel Toplice was recommended as a “must” by my dear friend Maureen and we were not disappointed.  It is an old classic elegant lakeside hotel that has been host to worldwide guests such as Arthur Miller, Agatha Christie, Madeleine Albright and King Hussein I to name a few.  It’s elegance may be starting to fray slightly, but the classic bones of the building, the impeccable service and location definitely made it a wonderful choice.  Our room was located lakeside with a balcony that had a fabulous view of the Lake and Bled Castle.  We grabbed our umbrellas (items which I was very glad to have “over packed”) and headed out to explore. 

Across the lake from our hotel we climbed the steep wooden switch-back stairway to reach Bled Castle.  It is about a 1/2 hour climb to the top, very narrow and slippery.  The castle originally dates from the year 1004, but has had several restorations since the Middle Ages.  Literally as we went through the gates of the castle to enter the courtyard the rain began to fall.  With umbrellas up we wandered the outer courtyard and upper terraces for wet but beautiful views across the lake.  There is a castle museum which with a quick visit truly saw all you needed to see, and a small chapel that was charming.  Our last stop was climbing more stairs (truly feel this has been the trip of 100,000 steps!) to the wooden defensive gallery for a few more rainy views of Bled and the surrounding area.  Walking back down the steep switch-back stairway in the rain was a bit more treacherous.  Sitting next to the lake were two empty hand-built Pletna boats.  Not many tourists or locals were out and about in the rain, so Joe & I decided it was time for a well deserved break and beer or two. 

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Our plan the next day was to drive up into the Julian Alps, however in the morning I checked my handy-dandy “Dark Sky” weather app and it warned that the mountains had been blanketed with 8-10 inches of new snow overnight, and it was still raining down at the lake and snowing up there.  Neither of us felt the urge to slip and slide through the mountains so we bundled up, grabbed our umbrellas again, and explored the town of Bled.  After a few hours, wet shoes and cold noses the spa at the hotel sounded very appealing.  I was very excited to dip into the thermal spring-fed “healing waters” swimming pool…until I dipped my toes in and found it to be freezing.  Apparently “thermal” does not necessarily mean warm in a foreign country.  Joe was brave enough to take a dip and after refusing to be coaxed in I checked out the spa.

We took a walk in the evening and ended up at Gostilna Pri Planincu (“By the Mountaineers”) for dinner and a few beers after dinner.  The food was traditional Slovenian and delicious.  Afterwards we headed into their bar which is covered in license plates from around the world and chatted for a while with another couple from the US and a couple from England.  The staff was also extremely fun and friendly and the local draft beer hit the spot!

The next morning sunshine finally arrived.  We quickly packed up, checked out, had breakfast and headed to the Pletna boats to take us across the lake to the island (Bjejski Otok).  Upon leaving the boat there is a climb of 99 steps from the dock up to the church, and apparently grooms carry their brides up the steps as a rite of passage.  The Church of the Assumption is a beautiful church and locals claim that if you ring the church bell 3 times on 1 pull your wish will come true.  After waiting in a short line I gave it a try…..those who know me well know what I wished for!  A short stroll around the perimeter of the island gave us lovely views across the lake,  the turquoise water, Bled Castle, the mountains and Tito’s Vila.  We were both so glad the weather finally broke to truly enjoy the natural beauty of this destination.

 

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We headed north and left the Dalmatian Coast and headed into the Istrian Peninsula.  The landscape changed dramatically from rocky limestone cliffs and arid land dotted with olive trees, to lush green slopes with many vineyards.  Our first stop was the town of Pula which is very industrial, but we were on a mission to see the first century Roman Amphitheatre.   It was the 6th largest in Europe, which sat over 26,000 spectators, and now the most intact and was completed about the same time as the Colosseum in Rome.  Traffic was insane and parking even worse.  Apparently there was an Iron Man Competition which ended inside the arena and the crowds to cheer them on along the streets were fun and a great source for people watching.

As we came around a corner I had my first view of the amphitheatre.  It literally took my breath away.  Truly it felt like I had stepped back in time….from a distance I could imagine how it looked 2000 years ago.  Upon entering it was a little disappointing to see all the electronics and the Iron Man venues, however we learned that the arena is used for exhibitions and concerts and I think I would pay pretty much any price to experience a concert here.  The architecture is amazing and wandering up and down the spectator area, the arena and down into the lower levels where the gladiators and animals were kept. 

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After spending several hours in Pula, we hit the road again onto our destination for the night, the city of Rovinj.  Rovinj is a seaside town that feels like it rises up from the Adriatic with twisty winding narrow cobblestone streets and lanes.  Located close to the Italian border, there is definitely a feeling of marrying both the Croatian and Italian culture. It is located on a peninsula and you enter through Tito Square and have a wonderful view of the Old Town peninsula with its fishing harbor and colorful buildings.  The Hotel Adriatic met us, parked our car off site outside of Old Town and we set about exploring. The streets can be steep but well worth the journey up to the Church of St. Euphemia.  The center square has a fountain with a little boy holding a sprouting fish and from there we headed out to the end of the Mali Molo (Little Pier).  Dinner consisted of Octopus Salad for me, which was delicious and again we encountered friendly chatty locals who were more than happy to share in conversation and curiosity.  In the morning we took to the streets to explore the old town  and I was enchanted by the colors, architecture, cleanliness, homes, shops and people of Rovinj. 

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Definitely one of the favorite places to visit and only wish we had more time to explore and relax in this beautiful town.

The “Old Road”, as it is referred to by the locals, is the old highway that runs along the coast between Split and Zadar.  Scenic vs speed was our plan, so we passed on the convenience of the “A1” toll-way and ventured on the old coastal 2 lane highway.  We were beyond enchanted with the views, the villages, the open racks of lamb/pork on a spit and leisurely drove towards Zadar stopping frequently for pictures.  So many beautiful sights and vistas, however I think our favorite area on that drive was around Rogoznica with its unspoiled beauty, access to the Adriatic and laid back style rather than touristy.  Definitely on a future vacation list!

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Our apartment in Zadar, The Bridge Luxury Apartment, was almost directly opposite the bridge leading into the old town.  We were greeted by the manager, Kika, who not only saved us a parking space but literally could not have been anymore enthusiastic and helpful in recommendations and local information. The apartment itself was superb.  After relaxing at an outside pub wetting our whistle from the drive, we headed across the bridge to explore.  And what a variety of things to explore!  The walled old town of Zadar is set on a peninsula that is accessed by a bridge with small marinas on either side where yachts sit side by side old fishing boats.  Inside the walls and on the peninsula are Roman ruins, ancient gates, charming streets, seafront, sea organ and medieval churches that would frequently ring their bells….add in wonderful outdoor cafes, restaurants and even high end shopping.  The evening was complete watching the sunset which apparently Alfred Hitchcock is quoted as saying “The sunset of Zadar is the world’s most beautiful and incomparably better than in Key West, Florida.”

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Our plans for the next day went a little bit astray…..We left the apartment early for a day trip to Plitvice Lakes National Park.  The drive was wet but beautiful and full of winding roads and tunnels cut through the Velebit Mountains.  The closer we got to the National Park, the harder the rain was falling.  We arrived to the park at 930am in a downpour that just didn’t let up. After watching tour bus after tour bus arrive turning the trails into a swarm of foot traffic and rain soaked tourists, we decided to abandon our plans for the Park.  We took a laid-back ride through the Velebit Mountains which encompassed the region of Lika, the birthplace of my paternal grandfather.  Now I know, upon viewing these mountains, valleys and peaks, why my Grandparents felt so at home when they settled in Red Lodge, Montana.  It made me wonder if my and my sister Danielle’s love of the mountains comes from some type of genetic memory.

The evening was spent in the old town of Zadar at one of the many outdoor bistros.  We had the pleasure of sitting next to a local family and spent some time practicing my Croatian, learning more about the culture, region and politics.  The local people we have encountered have been over and above friendly, especially when learning of Joe and my Croatian heritage.  A Croatian singing group was the icing on the cake for the end of the evening….bringing back memories of my playing the Brac’ and my sister Anne playing the Prim in the Croatian Kolo group when we were young.  And yes, Kenny K our director, I will always hate solos!

Our morning began with the reverse journey down cobblestone lanes with our luggage through Dubrovnik Old Town streets, through the Pile Gate and finding a taxi to take us back to the airport where we picked up our rental car.   After a lot of paperwork, questions and explanations we acquired the keys.   The car was a 6 speed manual transmission, which Joe preferred, and I was very glad the luggage fit,  rather snugly,  and that I had no plans to get behind the wheel. This was our first attempt at navigating via our GPS through my phone and it worked wonderfully!

The beginning of our journey took us back through Dubrovnik and small seaside towns on narrow roads until we reached the A1 freeway.  The “freeway” has toll booths along the way and we quickly learned how to zip through using our credit card.  We also crossed briefly from Croatia to Bosnia and back to Croatia, which meant going through border crossings and acquiring a few more stamps in the passports.  Between GPS and our handy Michelin paper map, we approached Split in about 3 hours with no problems.

Split is the second largest city in Croatia and our first impression from the freeway was of an industrial/commercial seaport and city sprawl.  As we ventured further into the city, the roads narrowed and Joe likened it to driving in Ann Arbor where young people jump in front of your car with no clue that there are vehicles flying by in all directions.  I took just a little offense to the A2 jab.  We had reservations at the Hotel Luxe with parking on the street (alley) directly behind.  This turned out to be more of a challenge than anticipated as the left 2/3’s of the alley was already filled with parked cars, which left just enough room to pass our vehicle “slowly” along cringing that we were going to lose our mirror or a least leave some paint along the stone walls.  Another  traveler recommendation……get the smallest car possible when renting!!!

After checking into the hotel we ventured down to the City Harbor, Riva and a visit to what is left of the Diocletian’s Palace.  I had been to Split a little over 40 years ago and was anticipating change, but was overwhelmed by the level of commercial trinkets & trash type vendor stalls and quirky pirate boat charters.  I was grateful that the view from the harbor back to the Riva was still intact.

 

Emperor Diocletian’s Palace however was definitely worth the trip.  We entered from the Brass Gate which is actually the back of the Palace and faces the harbor.  From there we walked down a few steps into the cellars with large stone pillars, arches, olive presses and artifacts.

From the cellars we headed up to the center square of the Palace know as the Peristyle and then directly to our right was the Cathedral of St. Dominus.  Originally a 4th century mausoleum, it was converted to a church after the fall of the Roman Empire.  The 13th century bell tower, which can be seen from the harbor, had an incredible view after climbing it’s 183 steps (my acrophobia was well under control until the descent!)

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After catching my breath from the tower, we ventured down into the crypts  and then across from the Peristyle into Jupiter’s Temple.  A couple step up from the center square is the entry vestibule where we were lucky enough to hear an acapella traditional dalmatian singing group.  It brought tears to my eyes and my heart was very full with memories of many family gatherings listening to my Grandfather, Uncles , extended family and friends singing in the same way.

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We finished the day with cocktails and a light dinner overlooking the harbor. making plans for our departure in the morning for a drive up to Zadar.

 

We left our home at 200pm Monday (9/11) and arrived weary but very excited at 230pm on Tuesday the 12th.  Our enchanting visit to Dubrovnik began with picking up an airport transfer bus to Old Town,  with a winding road down the coastline giving us our first breathtaking views of the Adriatic Sea.  Deep clear dark turquoise water crashing on a rocky shoreline glistened in the sun.  We passed small villages and stone homes and arrived at the Pile Gate of Old Town Dubrovnik where we unloaded and began our walk to our apartment.  Motorized transportation is not allowed into the Old Town, so this was our first time lugging luggage and cursing ourselves for not packing lighter.  After a few wrong turns we arrived at Celenga Apartments and then had the joy of climbing to the 3rd floor with 2 large suitcases and 2 carry-ons.  Lesson to anyone traveling…..don’t over pack!!!!!  The apartment was not only beautiful, but we found after a couple days that the location was also perfect.  We unloaded a few items, freshened up and headed out to explore the town.

It truly feels like stepping back in time.  There is the main street Stradun which is busy with tourists and shops, and branching off are smaller streets and alleys filled with shops, restaurants, apartments, nooks and crannies to explore.  It is incredibly clean and the people are friendly, helpful and eager to pull you into their establishments.  We leisurely walked with no specific agenda enjoying the history and architecture.  You could always pick out the cruise ship or bus tour groups because the street would fill with crowds led by a guide with umbrella in hand high above their head.

We eventually wandered towards the Old Port (Stara Luka) and as night set in had a beautiful view of the harbor and soon learned that Port towns are favorite places for cats.  Stray cats lounge here and there oblivious to all who pass by. Different types of music floated in and out of alleyways and we followed one into the Soul Cafe where we enjoyed a few drafts of “Pivo” (Beer) accompanied by the sweet sounds of a young man playing the cello.  These  are the types of places we found to be the little gems in the treasure of Dubrovnik.  Off the beaten path with local food, music and friendly people.

The next morning we were off to an early start and headed to walk the City Walls after breakfast.  It was sunny, hot and fairly crowded.  The 15th-century walls enclose the Old Town and the entire walk is about 1.25 miles.  There are a lot of stairs and inclines, but the views of the city, Fort of St Lawrence and the Adriatic make every shin splint I experienced later worth it.  We then headed over to the Fort of St Lawrence for more stairs and amazing views.

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A cable car ride up to Mount Srd for dinner at the Panorama Restaurant overlooking the Old Town and surrounding coast was beyond expectation – including my fully intact King Prawns which literally required a bib and leaving my table manners at home to truly enjoy them.  Our plans were for an early dinner and then hike across the hill-top and wait for the sunset.   We walked cross-country over rocky crags, around trenches and arid scrub brush – I joked that I was hoping the area had been cleared of landmines from the war in the 90’s, and learned later on that officially it had been however local people warn to stay on clearly defined paths,  Sitting upon rocky outcroppings, we watched as the sun set adjacent to small islands that dot the coastline.

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Our evening was complete with a night view of the Old Town,  a ride back down the cable car and a couple of drafts listening to music playing on the Stradun.  A walk back to our apartment and organizing for our drive to Split tomorrow.

We’ve all had those moments, those special memories frozen in time in our minds.  Our first kiss, our first love, engagements, weddings, the birth of our children….memories that are so special never to be forgotten.  These past couple weeks have been full of those magical moments.

Joe & I hosted a family party to celebrate my brother Joe’s visit to Michigan.  Little did we know that this was the last large family gathering where Jess would still be growing the twins inside in lieu of outside once they were born.  My brother Joe is the eldest, and it is always wonderful to have him home to visit from Scottsdale, AZ. Our Niki and he have a unique bond, as well as my husband Joe with years of reciprocal taunting between the two.  I was lucky enough to enjoy a round of golf with both “Joe’s” and had the family over for a BBQ to all enjoy time together. These are the times, when we are all together, that I feel complete. All of us together, enjoying each other’s company in a free, relaxed, no judgement zone.  I’ve always felt we had a special bond between the 5 of us siblings, and hopefully have passed on that level of love and connection to our children. And as I enjoyed the evening with family, soon to be 4 generations strong, I made a mental picture of all that I am grateful for.

On the early morning of August 15th I walked into the lobby of Mott Children’s Hospital to see the faces of Christopher and Jessica.  It brought tears to my eyes.  I recall vividly my Dad’s face when he came over in the early morning hours to watch Christopher, as I left for the hospital while I was in labor with Niki.  So much love radiated off of him and I can still feel his hug.  Now I know what was in his heart that morning.  As I looked at our son’s face on the precipice of becoming a Dad himself and Jessica glowing from within, my heart was so full of love, pride, fear and joy.  Our babies having babies….

Chris and Jess checked in, with me tagging along promising to be on my best behavior!  It was Jess’s wish that I accompany them into the Operating Room during the C-Section.  I was on board 200% we just needed to get the approval by the Team scheduled for that day.  As we awaited the time for surgery, Jess found herself becoming more calm and in the zone.  The babies heart rates looked great on the monitor, and as always Chris was there for Jess in any way she needed.  It was incredibly comforting to me that the twins were going to be delivered here, Mott Children’s, and I felt confident in the Team. And 4 1/2 hours after we arrived they took Jess back to the OR and told us they would come back to get us in 20 minutes once she was situated.  Chris started pacing and staring at the clock at the 20 minute mark, then at the 30 minute mark, then at the 45 minute mark…..and after about an hour the Team came to lead us into the OR in the nick of time before Chris wore a permanent path into the floor.

Christopher was placed in a chair directly next to Jessica’s face.  She smiled and he reached over and asked how she was doing.  I initially stood a little behind, but slowly worked my way to the part of the room facing the bottom of the table so I could see the girls being born.  The three of us had discussed our roles before hand.  Chris was to focus on Jess and I was to focus on the girls….if the girls needed any extra support and we were headed out of the OR to the NEST, then I would accompany the girls.

And then, that magical moment –  seeing Ellie Michaela brought into this world all wiggles and cries.  A few minutes later Emma Rochelle was born, even more vigorous than Ellie – small but mighty – with cries that nearly drowned out her sisters.  Pure joy, relief and love flooded my heart.

 

 

 

 

 

 

The girls were shown to Jess & Chris, brought to the warmer to be dried and weighed, then swaddled and placed into Chris’ arms which allowed Jess the opportunity to see and kiss the girls.  Magical moments for them now….that first kiss on your babies face, the first moment holding them in your arms, the look of love on your spouses face that says it all.  They were now a Mom & Dad and they both looked so excited and ready for the challenge.

Jess was taken back to the recovery and since only 2 people were allowed in the room we rotated family in and out, with my bringing Jess’ Mom up for the first visit.  Maria’s face when she saw me coming to bring her upstairs was filled with concern, but after hearing Jessica and the girls were all doing great it filled with elation.  Once the new family was settled into their room – Abuela, Abuelo, Grandpa, Baba, Teta Niki, Tia Ana, Tia Sara, Tio Rey all arrived to find Jess tired, recovering and smiling – Chris grinning from ear to ear handing out chocolate cigars and pink suckers – and the stars of the show Elllie all snug and peaceful and Emma wide-eyed and curious.  And in that room at that moment another picture was stored into my heart.  A picture of two beautiful girls – and two beautiful families forever joined together.

 

The girls were born Tuesday (8/15) and brought home Thursday.  Their Chevy Traverse was busting at the seams with the girls, car seats, stroller, suitcases and packages.  Upon arrival Jess & Chris introduced the girls to their new home and to Nilla and Cocoa the cats.  I think Nilla is still waiting for them to take the girls back, but Cocoa has been very curious and eager to watch them.  And for all the times that Chris reprimanded me for being too rough with the cats before the twins were born, he is now not quite so tolerant of them getting in or on anything to do with the babies.

The star and moon were also very impressive that week, because the girls were able to experience their first Solar Eclipse.  Unfortunately the usually over prepared Baba wasn’t up to the task of ordering the special glasses required to view the eclipse, so Chris attempted to make the official internet cereal box viewer which was pretty much a cardboard/foil failure.  Initially the girls were covered as we sat outside, but due to the heat Jessica took them inside.  Chris & I glimpsed the eclipse through the cloud cover, constantly reminding each other “Don’t stare at the Sun!!!!”  Ellie displayed her displeasure with the entire activity by covering her eyes with her headband.

The new family of 4 are settling into their new lives and routines very well – especially adjusting to new sleep schedules or maybe it would be better to say lack of sleep schedules.  At one week old both girls were above their birth weight and thriving!  The “kids” now parents themselves are doing a fantastic job.

The other day I asked Chris “is parenting everything he expected?”…..his response “Oh yes, definitely! Except for the sleep deprivation, I never expected the sleep deprivation.”

Happy Silver Anniversary was the first thing that Joe said to me this morning. Those words really took me by surprise, not because I had forgotten it was our anniversary nor that it was our 25th.  What took me by surprise was the milestone…Silver Anniversary.  I remember my parent’s Silver and Golden Anniversary, my Grandparent’s Golden Anniversary – and now we, my husband and I have joined that prestigious group celebrating a Silver Anniversary.  How did this happen so quickly, where did the time go, and how did we fill so much life and memories into what feels like such a short time.

A little over 25 years ago I remember sitting with my Dad after Joe had asked him for my hand in marriage.  And I knew that he had asked because my little sister Danielle and I had spied on that conversation, and she had read their lips for me, a story that Joe didn’t find out til’ years later.  But I digress….  My dad asked for my feelings and if marrying Joe would make me happy.  It still brings tears to my eyes as I remember saying “The only thing that worries me is that because of our age we probably won’t have a 50th wedding anniversary.”  My dad, holding my hand said “No one knows how many years they’ll have together. The key is to have as many happy ones together as you can.”

Waiting for him to surprise me with a proposal when I knew he had already been ring shopping is another of our “stories.”  My cousin Phyllis had a diamond broker connection through her husband’s family (does the name Gambino ring any bells.)  So she set Joe up with an appointment at the brokers, a little before Christmas, and Joe purchased the diamond. He then had it mounted and tucked away to surprise me.  While visiting with Phyllis she tells me that Joe is going to give me an engagement ring for Christmas.  Now before you start thinking “How could she!”, please know that the two of us were thick as thieves and couldn’t keep a secret from each other if we tried. Christmas morning arrives and every single box I’m opening I am of course looking for a ring…..literally pulling and shredding tissue paper and checking corners of every box I opened.  No ring.  Phone call to Phyllis “There’s no ring, you said he had the ring!” – “He has it!” she says “Maybe you’ll get it New Year’s Eve!”  The ball dropped in New York but the only thing that was ringing in was the New Year.  On January 31, 1992 my future husband walked into the Church where I was working and asked me to come into the sanctuary with him.  He proceeded to propose literally with God as his witness.  He also confessed that he knew Phyllis would never have been able to keep a secret from me, and that he had no intention of proposing on Christmas or New Years Eve but it was a lot of fun watching me rifle through all the boxes!

Our marriage started out with a ready-made family.  Joe bringing his 3 girls and I brought Christopher.  We were married the Saturday before Easter Sunday because his 9-year-old daughter Jessica was in for a visit from England. And a honeymoon would literally wait for 20 years.  And our plans to add an addition to this mix came to fruition 9 months later in the form of our daughter Niki.  I became a stay-at-home mom and count my blessing to this day that I had the opportunity to spend that quality time in their lives. Joe traveled frequently on his job, and for a while would leave Monday and return Friday.  This worked perfectly for my control freak tendencies because it gave me the opportunity to “run the show.”

We’ve experienced raising a newborn together, blending families, the angst of teenage children, children getting married, children going through divorce, becoming grandparents, new homes, losing parents, the seemingly unbearable loss of a niece and nephew, Joe’s retirement and the beginning feelings of being empty nesters.  Life wasn’t always easy or perfect but there was always unconditional love given and received.

As a family we’ve traveled to the Upper and Lower Peninsula of Michigan, Mackinac Island,  Niagara Falls, Florida, North & South Carolina, Mexico, Badlands SD, Mt Rushmore, Battlefield of Custer’s Last Stand, Devils Tower, Salt Lake City, Denver, Yellowstone, Grand Teton National Park, Red Lodge MT and the place closest to our hearts my Dad’s cabin in Wyoming.  And Joe and I finally did go on our honeymoon, just the two of us in our 20th year of marriage to Riviera Maya, Mexico.

So tonight we celebrated this milestone, sitting at a window seat of one of our favorite restaurants, indulging in too much delicious food and maybe a little wine.  I looked across the table and truly cannot believe it’s been 25 years. Yes, so much has changed about us…..Joe gained his grey hair about 2 years into our marriage (I’m not claiming responsibility!) and I certainly am not the girl I used to be.  But I think we’re better, we’ve grown together and most importantly we’ve loved each other through everything good and bad.  We started off as a ready-made family which has just blossomed and will grow again soon with the twins. Looking back if I had to use one word to describe our marriage it would be “family.” It has been our touchstone since the beginning.

The future is before us and I can’t wait to experience more of it with this man who I consider my best friend. Reservations are made for a trip to Croatia, Slovenia and France this Fall and the anticipation is killing me!  So let the next 25 years begin sweetheart…..I’m ready if you are!!!

Life has gotten in the way of writing lately, and I’m here to remedy that with a few family updates.

Jessica and Christopher’s pea pods continue to grow.  I was lucky enough to not only tag along for one ultrasound on Jessica’s birthday, but felt honored and privileged (plus just super excited) to join them for a second peek on their 19th week ultrasound.  The babies were little whirling dervishes as the tech attempted to assess that all is growing well.  I was especially thrilled (with my Neonatal ICU background) to see 4 chambered hearts, each baby with 2 kidneys, intact spinal cords, appropriate amniotic fluid, etc., etc., etc.  But what brought and continues to bring me to tears was finding out that there are two little girls growing inside my beautiful daughter-in-law.  Two girls who are going to have the best father for a role model, to show them who and what a man should be.  Two girls, who are already loved so much by so many.

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We went together to register at Babies”R”Us which was a small glimpse into the window of what their new life will encompass when the babies are born. Jessica tires easily as the “girls” grow, but through all the “morning” sickness and exhaustion she is just glowing with love and expectation.  Christopher seems to be taking everything in stride very calmly and is exceptionally supportive of Jessica’s needs.  Baby shower plans are in the making, and Jessica’s sisters and Niki are eager to share ideas and lend helping hands on decorations and games.

On Jessica’s birthday after the ultrasound, we drove to downtown Detroit for lunch at Wahlburgers.  Unfortunately “Mark” wasn’t there in person but there were several posters for eye candy.  A walk a little way down the street brought us to Greektown Casino for some slot machine action.  Typically I’m not much of a casino person, probably because all my money is usually lost within 20 minutes.  However I remember my mom, who is always lucky, once saying that she would just walk around and stop at a machine that felt “right” so I decided to follow her advice.   Well I’m not retiring any time soon, but did come out $100 in the black.  From the casino we ventured over to Hockey Town Cafe for a bite as we had tickets at the City Theater for “Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man.”  Fun and laughter ensued throughout the remainder of the evening, with Christopher being a very good sport in a situation that could have been extremely awkward sitting 2 seats down from his mother.

Easter dinner was held at the Benakovich Banquet Center. Gathering with family, friends and food truly makes my heart happy.  This year was a little different as we had more 20 something “kids” than adults.  My sister Anne and her husband are now in Florida, my brother Joe and Ida are in Arizona, and my sister Danielle and family were hosting her in-laws from out-of-town which made it 7 less this year.   New to the event was our niece Shannon’s boyfriend Josh. Josh plays basketball for Central Michigan University and he brought a teammate/friend along who would have had to spend the day alone.  The male height average in our home that Easter Sunday still gives me a crick in my neck from looking up all the time! So in conjunction with the traditional Ham, Cheesy Potatoes, Pretzel Jello and Acini salad, we had pizza muffins as a new twist for the “20 somethings” to fill their bellies and take back to campus.  The Simon Ancestral egg war game has been modernized to now include a $1 entry fee for each egg and a bracket system to determine a winner take all jackpot.  It was a fierce competition with a lot of groans, lots of laughter, and a lot of cheers with my sister Mary Kay winning the 1st round and our son Christopher the second.

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So with the winners leaving with their pockets a little fuller, and the losers a little lighter…..Everyone left with full bellies, new memories and smiles on their faces. These are the days that I look at Joe, my eyes full of love and say “see this is why I was insistent about getting the double wall ovens!!!”

I hate winter.  This isn’t a new state of mind, I’ve hated winter my entire life.  I truly think I was switched at birth with someone who was supposed to live in a warm climate.  There are multiple pictures of me as a child crying in ice skates, crying in sleds, crying standing in the snow…..it’s a life long theme of hating the cold.  As a teen there were multiple excursions to the ski slopes, but to be honest the main reason was to sit in the lodge, have something warm to drink, and check out the boys.  This week we have left the grey cold skies of Michigan and journeyed south to sunny Florida for time with my sister, her husband, my step-daughter and granddaughters.

And just as I’ve always felt out of sorts in the cold, I am equally at “Home” whenever my sister and I are together.  It’s effortless.  Regardless of the location, it just feels “right” somehow.  There are 5 of us siblings (4 sisters and my brother) and whenever or wherever we gather it is uncomplicated, conversation flows, and laughter abounds.  But this visit is also in Florida and my heart soars at the sight of palm trees, the sounds of waves, and the sun shining brightly on my face.

The location was also perfect for connecting with friends for a round of golf.  Joe was a gem dragging our clubs to and from the airport.  And this being my 1st official “golf trip”, I couldn’t have been anymore appreciative of his patience and creativity in lugging two travel golf bags down for us.  We spent our first day in Punta Gorda for a round of golf.  Joe could not miss a putt and I couldn’t hit a ball off the tee over the water.  Dinner outside on the bay at Fisherman’s Village with friends was the perfect ending to a fun-filled day.  Punta Gorda is a lovely area with a delightful and charming downtown.

Joe and our brother-in-law hit the links again on Wednesday, so Anne and I headed to Ft Myers Beach.  After mentioning that I didn’t like sitting near the pier because bait attracts little fish, and little fish attract big fish, and sharks eat big fish…..we set up our chairs pretty much right next to the pier.  In defense of our position, the beach was incredibly crowded and we had our hands full of chairs, coolers, and beach bag so we planted ourselves pretty quickly when we found a cranny to inch in to.  Dolphin’s were swimming and chasing schools of fish right off the pier and one started acting odd making breeching movements and slapping his belly off the water, and then they all swam off.  We commented how odd it was and what the possible meaning could be.  I decided to take a dip into the water and walked out about waist deep.  The sun was shining, the water a little chilly and giving off a lot of glare.  What sounded like cheering drifted down to me and I’m shading my eyes looking upwards at the crowds trying to figure out what the heck they’re all excited about.  Over and over the people on the pier are shouting what sounded like a rousing chorus of awe.  Upon returning to the beach, my sister Anne is standing on the shore and I say “what the heck were they all cheering about?” and she proceeds to tell me that they were all shouting “SHARK!” over and over, and that there was a shark swimming about 10 feet away from me.  One of my shining moments of clueless behavior.  Possibly a good thing in our travels that we ran into Jesus in downtown Ft Myers.

The week included a day of “Chip & Putt” competition with Anne/Mike vs Joe/Me.  A day that started with a visit to the driving range and also included time where Anne & I became a little distracted by the cows in the fields next door.  The competition was fierce and the rewards of beer for the victors kept both teams scrambling for position.  The boys had “greenie” side bets going with Joe and I sweeping both rounds for the win.  That evening we were joined by our daughter Jessica and the granddaughters for dinner, catching up with the girls, and making plans.

 

Plans that included a day on the water for family, fishing and exploring.  The day started a little chilly, but quickly warmed up.  Fishing poles were baited and we were very successful in catching every little fish in the sea – catfish, lizard fish, and perch….this time the little fish didn’t attract the big fish.  A stop at “Picnic Island” for lunch, exploring and cartwheels.  Watching Savannah and Abby looking for and collecting sea creatures in their buckets was priceless.  More exploring, shell collecting and sand castles the next day with the girls at Ft Myers Beach.

Joe and Mike made good use of the tennis courts at their complex.  And to Joe’s dismay, Mike beat him set after set after set.  I’m thinking that since Joe had to lug the golf bags down and around, he must have forgotten to pack his tennis “A” game and cannon serve.  Our last night was spent at the Sanibel Causeway for fishing and sunset.  The fish weren’t biting, but the sunset and company couldn’t have been any better.

As always, time flies by too quickly and we had to say our goodbyes.  The time with Jessica and the granddaughters was precious and we are grateful for the technology of FaceTime to keep in touch with their beautiful faces.  As for that feeling of “Home” and time with my sister and her husband – that I carry with me everywhere I go and remember with airfare of $200 roundtrip you may be seeing me sooner than later.

It amazes me how quickly and how much technology has changed in my lifetime.  I currently am sitting on a Delta flight from Detroit bound for Fort Myers, FL.  It’s about an 1100 mile trip, flying at approx. 500 mph, at 35,000 feet altitude and I should be arriving in under 3 hours.  My first plane trip was in 1976 and I was traveling from Detroit to Daytona Beach to visit my sister Mary Kay.  There were no screens for me to watch movies or play trivia on, there were actual stewardess’ that served meals, you could smoke on the plane, and when I landed wheeled steps were brought to the door of the plane for us to disembark onto the tarmac.

This trip, Delta was excited to let us know we now have “New and Improved” snack choices of yogurt, honey roasted peanuts, pretzels and their famous cookies.  The screen on the seat in front of me offers movies, TV shows, games, music, flight information, etc. etc. etc. (And yes, I do picture Yul Brynner every time I say that). I can plug in my phone into a USB port, my skull candy ear buds have a jack to access, and I have a power outlet for my computer.  I’m watching “Deadpool” on my laptop, an incredibly stupid and hilarious movie, and trying not to laugh out loud.  And I’m thinking to myself, I kind of feel like I’ve stepped into the “Jetson’s” cartoon.

It’s all coming true….They had flat screen TVs, video phones, talking alarm clocks, treadmills for dogs, roombas for vacuum cleaners, tanning beds, and drones to take Elroy to school (well we’ve got drones, but I’m certainly not putting any of my loved ones into one yet.)  My first memory of even watching a fuzzy black and white tv image, was of the Mercury space flight in the early 60’s.  I thought it was the most incredible thing I had ever seen.  Now we have been to the moon, have an International Space station and are planning a trip to Mars.

And as I sit here speeding through the air with all my electronic technology conveniently at my finger tips, I think oh my gosh I’m 57 years old and I feel this enormous change in my lifetime.  How much change has happened in my parents lifetime?  My mom is 86 years old and my Dad passed away at the age of 83.  They were born in 1931 and 1926 respectively.  They listened to the radio for news and entertainment.  They didn’t even have TVs and if they were lucky enough to have a telephone it was a party line connected through the wall to lines outside and shared with numerous families.  My dad used to tell us anecdotes about growing up in Red Lodge, Montana with little to nothing, and about his time as a flight navigator in the Army/Airforce during WWII.  “And there I was at 10,000 feet and the pilot said jump….” We were enthralled when we were little.

So I sit here at 35,000 feet, looking down at the clouds, thinking how much the world has changed.  Propellers to jet engines, party lines to cell phones, radios to flat screens, our Electrolux vacuum we had growing up to Roombas, and all the things we take for granted in our quest for new and improved.  And yes, I’m amazed but also a little saddened.  In our quest to connect with technology, I think we lost some of the ability to connect with each other.  We text instead of talk, surf Facebook instead of reaching out in person, and emoji our feelings instead of truly bridging the gap with a real hug.

I’m guilty as charged.  As I sit here and blog my thoughts and feelings, I am as culpable as the next person.  Technology is not warm, fuzzy and loving.  It cannot hold our hands in loss or joy.  It cannot cry with us, it cannot hug us, it cannot laugh til’ we feel like we’re going to wet our pants with us.  My mission today is to not look at my phone but pick up my phone to call someone I love,  turn this computer off and go outside to feel the sun on my face, laugh with my sister, give and receive some real love.  And my hope is that you will do something similar too…..

 

Have you ever thought to yourself “I’m so happy, I have everything!”  Driving on a beautiful but frigid cold Thursday morning with blue skies and sun glistening off the snow, I had that exact thought.  I was on my way to our son’s home at about 800am to meet him, his wife, our daughter, her boyfriend, and we were all going to go out to a special crepe restaurant for breakfast.  We had discussed it the previous evening while we were visiting and having Mexican Posole for dinner that Jessica had made.

Please don’t get the impression that our lives are perfect.  Our lives are far from idyllic!  We definitely do and have had our share of not quite perfect parent moments, family lessons that have been learned the hard way, and exercises in patience that would make a sloth feel frustrated.  But I was so full of contentment on my drive over.

So many thoughts were going through my mind.  So happy that our children enjoyed each others company so much.  That they not only loved each other, but that they truly liked one another.  That my daughter-in-law and our daughter were actually friends, not a forced or strained relationship.  That Niki’s boyfriend fell into this group with ease and comfort.  As a mother it was wonderful knowing that your kids actually wanted to hang out with you, even after spending hours with them the night before.  Oh I was feeling so good and happy.  Yep, I had it all!

We all piled into Christopher truck and proceeded to head out to the crepe restaurant with Jessica looking a little green around the gills from morning sickness.  Niki began to get annoyed because apparently I was staring at her face too long. Christopher started saying how he really had a taste for an omelet and questioning whether the crepe place had omelets. Discussion ensued regarding do we really want crepes or maybe a place with full service breakfast, and several long minutes where a decision couldn’t be made.  My joking comment that if I wanted regular breakfast I could have cooked at home.  Finally settling on a coney restaurant in Flint that was full service.   Comments were made about not drinking the water, especially with Jessica being pregnant.  Then Jessica orders water and Christopher makes faces, so Jess forgoes the water and orders apple juice.  Niki can’t decide between waffles or chorizo sausage, which prompts me to tell her to go for the waffles because I have chorizo at home that she can cook.  Which prompted a snippy “Oh, so I can have that sausage now?!” from her.  And all I can humorously think at this point is what happened to my feeling of “Yep, I have it all?”

We definitely aren’t perfect and almost shine with imperfection, and I think that is one of the things I love best about “us.”  There isn’t any pretension, façade or guise.  What you see is what you get.  “Normal is boring” was a quote often heard when the kids were growing up.  Our family is perfectly flawed with acceptance and love unconditionally given and received.   And we truly do have it all……

 

In my world, an empty room has so many meanings.  My assignment at work generally consists of 13-17 patient rooms, filled to capacity approximately 95% of the time.  These rooms are filled with patients who’s age and diagnosis vary, with some needing more of my time and intervention than others.  I joke with parents of the patients with little or no respiratory support that “it’s always good if you don’t get to know me.”  Getting to “know me” means that I’m providing a lot of intervention, respiratory support, and your child is usually critically ill.

Some babies just arrived a little early, and need to work on growing and feeding.  While others are much more complex and can be here for up to 9 months or more.  So when I arrive in the morning, look at my assignment, and see empty rooms my first hope is that a little “grower and feeder” has gone home with their parents.  Sometimes in my world “babies drop out of the ceiling” (Labor & Delivery is on the floor above), which means an empty room is going to fill with a new patient.  Empty rooms are filled with patients transported from other hospitals, and as a Level 4 NICU we get a lot, we see a lot, and hopefully we help a lot.  There are awful days where after doing our best for hours, days or months, we lose a patient and the empty room is a stark reminder of the loss and pain felt by all.

But today I feel joy, mixed with a little sadness, because the empty room I’m looking at now was previously filled by a patient that literally stole my heart.  A patient who beat incredible odds.  A beautiful girl who has a brother for a guardian angel.  She not only survived, she is thriving.  A patient that I will dearly miss – her face, her smile, and even her little stinker moments.  But my tears today for this empty room are tears of joy.  This empty room reminds me why I come to work everyday.  It reminds me that we can make a difference.  And for all the empty rooms filled with pain and loss, my heart does not forget.  But today……today is a good day.

Today was my fourth 12 hour shift at work.  Usually my most exhausted day of my current five day stretch schedule.  However today was different.  Today our son and his wife were heading down to Ann Arbor for their initial ultrasound to determine how far along and how their pregnancy was progressing.  Those who know me, pretty much know that I’m kind of a control freak.  (Is it possible to be “kind of” a control freak?)  I have to know everything and I’m not very good at not knowing when someone or something I care about is involved.  Well, I called Jessica in the morning from work and “suggested” that they stop by my work after the ultrasound because “they’ve never seen where I work.”  Left it completely up to them – no pressure – just call or text me if you can stop by – no questions asked…. Let us just say that our children fortunately or unfortunately know when I would REALLY like them to do something.  So needless to say I received a text from them saying they were at the ultrasound appointment and would stop by to see me at work.  Happy?  Oh yes, I was happy.  Jumping up and down happy.  I greeted them both in the lobby – I was calm, cool and collected.  I wasn’t going to ask a single question until they volunteered information – and yes, it was killing me! “Oh look, this is lobby. This is the gift shop. This is the family center. And these are butterflies made out of Arizona Tea cans”….yep I was keeping it cool!  We made it all the way up to the 8th floor where our Department is located.  Introduced them both to our Admin (still cool as ice) and then in the middle of the empty hallway Jessica says “Oh I have a picture to show you.” I look down and there, right there in black and white, two babies….two….two…two…OMG twins!!!!! Apparently I screamed and burst out crying as one of my supervisors came into the hallway to make sure everything was alright.  I just kept saying TWINS TWINS!!!!! Hugs, tears, more hugs!  Lord I love them both so much already.  I took the kids for a tour through my unit (Brandon NICU) and every friend I came upon I made sure to introduce Chris and Jess, and pretty much gushed “they’re having twins!!!” every opportunity I had.  They are officially 7 1/7 weeks pregnant.  Memories of carrying Chris & Niki flash into my head, and my heart if so full of love for Chris, Jess and these two new peas in a pod.  We were all so excited when we found out they were pregnant in December, and then there were two! xxxxoooo

Christmas is my favorite day of the year.  It’s a big deal at our house, a really big deal.  Now I’m not here to disregard that it’s Jesus’ birthday because we have a tradition centering around that fact.  You see Jesus cannot be placed into the manger until Christmas morning simply because he’s not born yet.  So Jesus unassumingly sleeps in the drawer of the dining room buffet until Christmas morning, and then he is placed into his manger, because………he’s born Christmas morning!  And we do thank God for all of our blessings, truly from our hearts.  But Christmas is also about childhood wonder, family traditions, and magic.  The magic of Santa is alive and has been fostered for decades by mysteries that have unfolded over the years in our home. Yes, we always did the obligatory milk and cookies.  And Santa always wrote the kids notes in his unique block penmanship with antidotes for each child in regards to their strengths, accomplishments and a little bit of advice on things to work on throughout the year.  There were special Santa gifts wrapped and signed by Santa himself in matching block script.  When the kids went to bed on Christmas Eve the lights were dimmed, the tree was lit and there were no gifts under the tree.  Times were negotiated as to how early was too early to wake up Joe and I.  Upon awakening in the morning, miraculously there were gifts overflowing from the tree.  Santa had arrived! My comment to friends was usually something to the effect that it looked like the tree had vomited gifts. The look of joy and wonder was priceless.  The enchantment was reinforced one year when freakishly the falling snow on the roof, outside our son Christopher’s window, looked as if two sleigh tracks were formed from Santa’s sleigh sliding and taking off.  We went crazy….”Oh my gosh, he was right outside your window!” “Did you hear him!” “Did you see him!” “I’ll bet this is where he parked his sleigh when he went up to the chimney!”  It was one of those magical moments when you see true wonder in your children’s eyes.  So needless to say, Christmas is a BIG deal at our house.  This year Chistopher (28), his wife Jessica, our daughter Niki (23) and her boyfriend Logan spent the night Christmas Eve. I have to throw in the caveat that Logan did sleep in the den because we’re “those kind of parents.”  As par for the course, the negotiations began regarding how early they could wake us up in the morning.  My heart was full – here they were, adults, still finding excitement and joy in family traditions.  As usual, they went to bed and we proceeded to haul out boxes, bags and parcels as we put gifts under the tree, filling stockings, even dog & cat gifts, and sprinkling a little magic with a lot of love before we headed to bed.  Christmas Day was wonderful.  First gifts, then breakfast, more cooking for Christmas dinner and Jessica’s family joining us for dinner and celebrations.  I thought I couldn’t be happier.  As we finally all sat and relaxed, Christopher and Jessica came into the room with two small square boxes.  “There were a couple of gifts that haven’t been opened yet.  These are just for the Mom’s.”  We opened the boxes and inside were small newborn onesies that said “Best Gift Ever!”  I lost it!  Pregnant!  Excitement doesn’t describe what I was feeling.  Jessica’s mother, Maria, and I hugged and cried. Tears oh a lot of tears!!!  Happy joyous tears!!!!!  And yes….this was truly THE BEST CHRISTMAS EVER!