Month: April 2017

Happy Silver Anniversary was the first thing that Joe said to me this morning. Those words really took me by surprise, not because I had forgotten it was our anniversary nor that it was our 25th.  What took me by surprise was the milestone…Silver Anniversary.  I remember my parent’s Silver and Golden Anniversary, my Grandparent’s Golden Anniversary – and now we, my husband and I have joined that prestigious group celebrating a Silver Anniversary.  How did this happen so quickly, where did the time go, and how did we fill so much life and memories into what feels like such a short time.

A little over 25 years ago I remember sitting with my Dad after Joe had asked him for my hand in marriage.  And I knew that he had asked because my little sister Danielle and I had spied on that conversation, and she had read their lips for me, a story that Joe didn’t find out til’ years later.  But I digress….  My dad asked for my feelings and if marrying Joe would make me happy.  It still brings tears to my eyes as I remember saying “The only thing that worries me is that because of our age we probably won’t have a 50th wedding anniversary.”  My dad, holding my hand said “No one knows how many years they’ll have together. The key is to have as many happy ones together as you can.”

Waiting for him to surprise me with a proposal when I knew he had already been ring shopping is another of our “stories.”  My cousin Phyllis had a diamond broker connection through her husband’s family (does the name Gambino ring any bells.)  So she set Joe up with an appointment at the brokers, a little before Christmas, and Joe purchased the diamond. He then had it mounted and tucked away to surprise me.  While visiting with Phyllis she tells me that Joe is going to give me an engagement ring for Christmas.  Now before you start thinking “How could she!”, please know that the two of us were thick as thieves and couldn’t keep a secret from each other if we tried. Christmas morning arrives and every single box I’m opening I am of course looking for a ring…..literally pulling and shredding tissue paper and checking corners of every box I opened.  No ring.  Phone call to Phyllis “There’s no ring, you said he had the ring!” – “He has it!” she says “Maybe you’ll get it New Year’s Eve!”  The ball dropped in New York but the only thing that was ringing in was the New Year.  On January 31, 1992 my future husband walked into the Church where I was working and asked me to come into the sanctuary with him.  He proceeded to propose literally with God as his witness.  He also confessed that he knew Phyllis would never have been able to keep a secret from me, and that he had no intention of proposing on Christmas or New Years Eve but it was a lot of fun watching me rifle through all the boxes!

Our marriage started out with a ready-made family.  Joe bringing his 3 girls and I brought Christopher.  We were married the Saturday before Easter Sunday because his 9-year-old daughter Jessica was in for a visit from England. And a honeymoon would literally wait for 20 years.  And our plans to add an addition to this mix came to fruition 9 months later in the form of our daughter Niki.  I became a stay-at-home mom and count my blessing to this day that I had the opportunity to spend that quality time in their lives. Joe traveled frequently on his job, and for a while would leave Monday and return Friday.  This worked perfectly for my control freak tendencies because it gave me the opportunity to “run the show.”

We’ve experienced raising a newborn together, blending families, the angst of teenage children, children getting married, children going through divorce, becoming grandparents, new homes, losing parents, the seemingly unbearable loss of a niece and nephew, Joe’s retirement and the beginning feelings of being empty nesters.  Life wasn’t always easy or perfect but there was always unconditional love given and received.

As a family we’ve traveled to the Upper and Lower Peninsula of Michigan, Mackinac Island,  Niagara Falls, Florida, North & South Carolina, Mexico, Badlands SD, Mt Rushmore, Battlefield of Custer’s Last Stand, Devils Tower, Salt Lake City, Denver, Yellowstone, Grand Teton National Park, Red Lodge MT and the place closest to our hearts my Dad’s cabin in Wyoming.  And Joe and I finally did go on our honeymoon, just the two of us in our 20th year of marriage to Riviera Maya, Mexico.

So tonight we celebrated this milestone, sitting at a window seat of one of our favorite restaurants, indulging in too much delicious food and maybe a little wine.  I looked across the table and truly cannot believe it’s been 25 years. Yes, so much has changed about us…..Joe gained his grey hair about 2 years into our marriage (I’m not claiming responsibility!) and I certainly am not the girl I used to be.  But I think we’re better, we’ve grown together and most importantly we’ve loved each other through everything good and bad.  We started off as a ready-made family which has just blossomed and will grow again soon with the twins. Looking back if I had to use one word to describe our marriage it would be “family.” It has been our touchstone since the beginning.

The future is before us and I can’t wait to experience more of it with this man who I consider my best friend. Reservations are made for a trip to Croatia, Slovenia and France this Fall and the anticipation is killing me!  So let the next 25 years begin sweetheart…..I’m ready if you are!!!

Life has gotten in the way of writing lately, and I’m here to remedy that with a few family updates.

Jessica and Christopher’s pea pods continue to grow.  I was lucky enough to not only tag along for one ultrasound on Jessica’s birthday, but felt honored and privileged (plus just super excited) to join them for a second peek on their 19th week ultrasound.  The babies were little whirling dervishes as the tech attempted to assess that all is growing well.  I was especially thrilled (with my Neonatal ICU background) to see 4 chambered hearts, each baby with 2 kidneys, intact spinal cords, appropriate amniotic fluid, etc., etc., etc.  But what brought and continues to bring me to tears was finding out that there are two little girls growing inside my beautiful daughter-in-law.  Two girls who are going to have the best father for a role model, to show them who and what a man should be.  Two girls, who are already loved so much by so many.

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We went together to register at Babies”R”Us which was a small glimpse into the window of what their new life will encompass when the babies are born. Jessica tires easily as the “girls” grow, but through all the “morning” sickness and exhaustion she is just glowing with love and expectation.  Christopher seems to be taking everything in stride very calmly and is exceptionally supportive of Jessica’s needs.  Baby shower plans are in the making, and Jessica’s sisters and Niki are eager to share ideas and lend helping hands on decorations and games.

On Jessica’s birthday after the ultrasound, we drove to downtown Detroit for lunch at Wahlburgers.  Unfortunately “Mark” wasn’t there in person but there were several posters for eye candy.  A walk a little way down the street brought us to Greektown Casino for some slot machine action.  Typically I’m not much of a casino person, probably because all my money is usually lost within 20 minutes.  However I remember my mom, who is always lucky, once saying that she would just walk around and stop at a machine that felt “right” so I decided to follow her advice.   Well I’m not retiring any time soon, but did come out $100 in the black.  From the casino we ventured over to Hockey Town Cafe for a bite as we had tickets at the City Theater for “Sex Tips for Straight Women from a Gay Man.”  Fun and laughter ensued throughout the remainder of the evening, with Christopher being a very good sport in a situation that could have been extremely awkward sitting 2 seats down from his mother.

Easter dinner was held at the Benakovich Banquet Center. Gathering with family, friends and food truly makes my heart happy.  This year was a little different as we had more 20 something “kids” than adults.  My sister Anne and her husband are now in Florida, my brother Joe and Ida are in Arizona, and my sister Danielle and family were hosting her in-laws from out-of-town which made it 7 less this year.   New to the event was our niece Shannon’s boyfriend Josh. Josh plays basketball for Central Michigan University and he brought a teammate/friend along who would have had to spend the day alone.  The male height average in our home that Easter Sunday still gives me a crick in my neck from looking up all the time! So in conjunction with the traditional Ham, Cheesy Potatoes, Pretzel Jello and Acini salad, we had pizza muffins as a new twist for the “20 somethings” to fill their bellies and take back to campus.  The Simon Ancestral egg war game has been modernized to now include a $1 entry fee for each egg and a bracket system to determine a winner take all jackpot.  It was a fierce competition with a lot of groans, lots of laughter, and a lot of cheers with my sister Mary Kay winning the 1st round and our son Christopher the second.

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So with the winners leaving with their pockets a little fuller, and the losers a little lighter…..Everyone left with full bellies, new memories and smiles on their faces. These are the days that I look at Joe, my eyes full of love and say “see this is why I was insistent about getting the double wall ovens!!!”